Escaped Caterpillar On Rampage Through City
 COLUMBUS, OH-A ravenous caterpillar escaped from captivity today, wreaking havoc as it devoured everything in its sight and carved a half-centimeter path of destruction across the city, horrified sources reported. Confined to a glass viewing chamber since late May, the savage creature reportedly broke free from its bedside enclosure before slithering out of an open window and charging wildly toward the city's unsuspecting commercial district. read the whole article on the onion Labels: nonsense 
Man In Inner Tube Completes First Lazy Transatlantic Journey
LA ROCHELLE, FRANCE—Arriving to the cheers of thousands of excited onlookers gathered at the Les Minimes marina to witness history in the making, insurance-claims adjuster Gary Morgan, 42, completed the first nonstop leisurely solo float across the Atlantic Ocean in an inflated rubber tube Tuesday.
After departing six weeks ago from Rockaway Beach in New York, the courageously relaxed father of three drifted through tumultuous waters for 3,012 nautical miles to set a new world record and relieve some of the tension caused by his screaming children. the onion Labels: nonsense
conversation
 may i speak to erica, please? who is this? justin, from discover. justin? how did you get my woman's number? from our database. what? is that a club? no, i'm calling from discover, she has an account- why are you calling my woman? i'm calling- don't ever call here again! i'm going to beat her right now!(loud banging) no! i just- telemarketers discover+card Labels: nonsense
how are your references?
i've been cleaning out file cabinets at my new job and i found this old form. it was used to ask businesses who had been listed as a trading reference what their experience was with the customer.
 its so much easier to decide with pictures, isn't it? my favorite is "slow and unsatisfactory" holding the gun to his own head!Labels: nonsense
can you subdue the white devil with gourmet cheeses?
 i saw the new boondocks cartoon on the cartoon network last night. it was hilarious! even better than the comic strip, which i've been a fan of for a long time.Labels: nonsense
'Satanist' dances on Reagan's grave
WorldNetDaily: 'Satanist' dances on Reagan's grave Labels: nonsense
bush crashes into police officer with his bike
AUCHTERARDER, Scotland (CNN) -- President Bush collided with a British police officer during a bike ride Wednesday evening, suffering scrapes on his hands and arms that required bandaging, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said. Labels: nonsense
Cost Of Living Now Outweighs Benefits
can you digg it?
WASHINGTON, DC: A report released Monday by the Federal Consumer Quality-Of-Life Control Board indicates that the cost of living now outstrips life's benefits for many Americans.
"This is sobering news," said study director Jack Farness. "For the first time, we have statistical evidence of what we've suspected for the past 40 years: Life really isn't worth living." To arrive at their conclusions, study directors first identified the average yearly costs and benefits of life. Tangible benefits such as median income ($43,000) were weighed against such tangible costs as home-ownership ($18,000). Next, scientists assigned a financial value to intangibles such as finding inner peace ($15,000), establishing emotional closeness with family members ($3,000), and brief moments of joy ($5 each). Taken together, the study results indicate that "it is unwise to go on living." more its funny because its true... Labels: nonsense
Audrey Hepburn i heart cvs 
a hello kitty life... 
Huey P. Newton |
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A California man dubbed a "Satanist" on an online message board has posted photos of himself dancing on President Ronald Reagan's grave, raising the ire of the former chief executive's admirers.
..."Monte" also posted on a different site a photo of himself purportedly urinating on President Richard Nixon's grave at the presidential library in Yorba Linda, Calif.
